I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
