I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
