S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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