I'll bet she douches with gravy.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
