i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
