he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
