what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
