is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
