Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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