People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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