Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize