So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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