Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
