dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Say something about gay babies.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
