If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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