I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
