Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
