we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
