if you like me you must not know who I am
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
