So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
