Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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