Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
