i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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