his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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