You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
