My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
