Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
