You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
