me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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