Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
