its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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