I think i peed on brittanys purse
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
