you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
