i jhust puked up my retainher.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
