Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
