she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You made out with two different species that night
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
