i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
