My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
