I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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