I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You took a bar mat shot.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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