Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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