If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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