Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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