I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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