they need to just BURY HIM!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
