Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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