so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
