It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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