how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
