why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
