I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
