it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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