If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
