You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
