all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
