my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
