I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
