5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
